Ladies and Gentlemen, It’s Dirty December – The Banner Newspaper

We’ve evolved from Trader Joe’s chocolate advent calendars, here’s something more fun for you and your boo.

By: Katie Kalahan

It’s not too late to start having fun with the Christmas advent calendar. Yes, we’re well into the month, but there is still time for 12 days of the Christmas calendar, even if you have to double up on some days (use the chocolate calendar for snacks between tours, duh).

But, we’re not talking about regular chocolate and cheese advent calendars… we’re talking about sexual advent calendars. Yes, that’s actually one thing, and there are plenty of options out there including toys, lingerie, lube, and even bondage.

Here you will find many options of all price ranges and sexual interests. If everything else fails to deliver one of them on time, you can always make a quick stop at Spencer’s Gifts and DIY your own advent calendar.

  1. Lovehoney Couples Gift Set

Spice up your 12 days with mystery items like vibrators, cock rings, blindfolds or sex dice. You and your boy can together find out what’s behind box number 7, then use it when you get weird in the bedroom. This set is a bit pricey, it’s $ 110, but you have 12 items that are worth up to $ 190.

  1. Christmas lingerie set

Make yourself feel sexy and get your partner to take it off with these 24 days of lingerie. Adjustable garters, crotchless panties and fake nipple piercings. This set costs $ 235 on Etsy and includes a lot for each night with your boo. Catch up with the last few weeks of Dirty December easily by wearing more than one piece and your partner could unwrap you to access the gift.

  1. Erotic adventure set

Rihanna said it best, “Chains and whips turn me on.” Get started with this $ 79.95 set filled with 7 days of handcuffs, whip, blindfolds, rope and more. Maybe brush up on your knot-tying skills with a quick Youtube video before your partner comes along.

  1. Sensation kit

Anyone might like to take the lead, but not everyone might like to give it away, which is good, you do whatever you want in the bedroom. But, if you wanted to try and make it more fun for both of you, maybe try this Goodhead Oral Pleasure Kit, for just $ 26. It includes flavored lubricants and oral gels and even a numbing spray. Just a warning to be careful with the deep throat anesthetic spray so you don’t get too numb and end up hurting yourself.

  1. Advanced bondage kit

It’s not exactly an Advent calendar, but it does have 14 items to play with your partner. It’s a bit more than the other sets on this $ 186 list, but it has a wide range of things to explore with someone. Ball gag, nipple clamps, a paddle and a bed restraint, plus a bunch of other things. You can test everything and find out which one is your favorite or what makes your partner the craziest.

  1. Sex games calendar

This schedule had 12 for him and 12 for his sex play or mix it up, depending on what floats your boat. This cute little kinky coupon book costs $ 9.99 and you’ll both have fun with the games and the prize. Pick a coupon each day for you and your partner to secure a spot on the rascal list this year.

  1. Spencer’s DIY

If you’re pressed for time and can’t wait for shipping and deliveries, take Spencers 20 minutes with your partner (or alone to surprise them) and purchase 6-12 items. You can mix them up when you get home and pack them individually. Later, when you’re ready, the two of you can pick one from the mystery bag, unwrap it, and then unwrap each other.

PSA: Make sure that you and the partner you choose to participate in these Christmas games agree to anything you decide to do or not do together. If you find a box of anal plug on day 4 and they don’t want to play with it, choose another box or just go back to the old regular missionary sex.

Comments are closed.